Another Lost Shambhala Weekend

Well, I completed my first formal staffing of a Shambhala "level" today. It was Great Eastern Sun, the first of the Sacred Path program. I did my GES over a year ago in Montreal (it was great!).

But I think I've decided that this staffing thing just isn't for me. I have been struggling so much with the precision of all the thousands of details that go into supporting one of these weekends, like displaying the food and arranging the tables, to just how I gong the gong when I'm timer. "It's all part of the practice" I heard someone say once, and I've been repeating it to myself ever since. And, for that reason, I'm glad I've now formally staffed a level.

But that's it. I realize I need to focus more on precision and simply surrendering to the details, but I consistently feel like such an outsider at these things. Well, I guess I am. But the people who usualy organize these things are like professional staffers. Don't get me worng, they are fabulous! But stepping into their well-rehearsed choreography is kinda painful, and I've had enough. I mean, does it really matter how I put the peanut butter in the bowl? And might there be another way of letting me know that the decaf coffee doesn't go in the big jug?

Either I'm missing the point, or the others are. Or, more likely we all are. But I've tried now, and I'll work on my issues in another forum.